Its all my fault!

Its all my fault! The only thing that is making me laph at the moment is the fact the the song "I like big buts and I can not lye" just poped into my head. The other song that is in my mind is:
"Pain"

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)

That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain
Well on that happy note. Yes I did tell them and I would not have changed it. You can shoot me now. Just don't go jumping in front of trains push me in front of one. Yes I would love to yell at you for your stupidity. But it is not all your fault! It's mine! So conflicted. 3 bubbles one of you talking of trains. one of you and him yelling at each other like theres no tomaro and then him telling me what he is going to post next. What he wants to say. I type STOP! Just stop log out he goes to bed. I ask if hes ok he says yes I ask really because the way he is phrasing things make it sound anything but, he then says I've never had this emotion before its good and bad but I don't know he departs I yell at her she goes. And here I am typing away about nothing just a little argument. The only things at stake are throwing her into further depression and accualy put a full hearty attempt in font of a train. Her family is in too much trouble she clames but if you think about it she would be doing things for her family and not be thinking of throwing her self away they love her but no she doesen't see that. He says we need to get together I fear the consequences not only because she want to talk to her if more things come out worse things will happen. It's very hard to keep a secret. It so much easer to pass it along. So hard to hide form your best friends. But every body has them. If you tell them you trust them. But what if the person you tell can take it. If he needs to tell it to somebody else to maybe ease the burden if in need of assistance advise. If they start screaming in each others faces some might be told he has so many things she I don't know about but she if she wants to if she sees fit if she sees its my fault she will probably do something I fear and scream it in his face something I've been keeping form all but 3. But the thing is what then after that. Silence lack of words but thats soon replaced by hate and fury and discuss and pain thats sure to follow. A new year nowhere to go...its all my fault. I fear I wouldn't see my nose for a while for it will be in a book.