More Then Fine?

Is everything more then fine, NO it is not. everything is going great. Friends an I are getting closer then ever. Bonds are being remade others strengthened. For the past few nights one friend and I have stayed for hr. on the webcam talking or just sitting in each others virtual presence. Some times I wate to talk to ef. And it seems ever night I'm talking to lsd. And also if I stay up I get to talk to my girlfriend for a while. Every thing seems good in that sense. But there is no enjoyment any more. Nothing to keep things sticking. I've started 6 blogs posts but never finished one yet. It seems like my mood keeps changing. And you all know you have to be in the same mood to wright the same story. You have to be in a depressing mood to kill every body you have to be in a happy mood to make friends. But my moods have been fluctuating so much in that last few weeks. I haven't even been thinking strate. I've been doing so many stupid things such as talking about things inform of people that aren't even invited. I'm going to die because I don't think I'll be able to be mentally stable for a party and 2 projects this weekend. Tonight mv was video chatting with me then gave me a song to listen to. It brought back so many memories that I had to turn off the cam to cry. Its the song I associate with all of freshman year all its high and extremely low points. I love that song but all the things associated with it makes me cry each and every time I hear it. I haven't sat down and actually did homework in weeks I just keep procrastination I always find something else to do. Read a book play flash games go on my computer to chat all distractions. For weeks there I've read 200 page books each night starting when I got home till 2-3 o'clock in the morning. Getting away form the world. I sit here thinking what am I doing. scratching due to exama bleeding because if it. So much dyslexia in this post alone. So many grammatical and spelling issues. But thats me. Thats what I hate about me. I have no control any more. Nothing in my control the world just goes bye leaving me behind every day. I have no events nothing to really talk to you about I have no really sad depressing story I have no migraines that keep me up all night I have no journalistic instinct only Horrid memories Horrid emotions Horrid thoughts. At the molmet a few thoughts go through my head. Go to sleep you shouldn't be saying this, Doctor Who is tonight, maybe I should listen to every body just shut up shut up for good for ever, to just go to hell to leave them alone spair them the pain and misery or even take there happiness away by taking there victim. The blood feels nice spilling over my hands worm as my nails tickle my skin.